Unrequited love is a monster that respects none. When it got hold of me, I then understood what it felt like to be in a shitty relationship where the other partner feels you owe all to her, while she owes all to herself. When I realised I was living in the moon, and that such relationship wasn’t worth who I was, I did crazy but painful things to find my way out. If you follow these practical steps I took, you will overcome unrequited love and come out ever stronger.
Before you find sense in what I did, you must understand that you can’t compel any fucking mortal to feel for you, what you feel for them! It’s natural for someone to say no, but still feels it right to have you around; they have their reasons anyway. If such happens, and you find yourself hooked between fantasy and reality, it’s best to kill the feelings if you mustn’t do what monsters do.
First, you must begin with self-awareness.
Understand that you’re unique, lovable and pretty. The feelings of unrequited love has only one message… “You’re damn not pretty and lovable, I can’t keep you”. After all, who on earth can cope “diplomatic” rejection without hurting deep inside? If you fail to love yourself and recognize the fact that somewhere, there are millions of people who would love you, and even do crazy things to be with you, you may not be able to overcome the stings of unrequited love.
Cut every communication link.
Healthy communication is the life wire of any good relationship. On the extreme, this means without healthy communication, a shitty relationship can actually grind to a halt. If you are not disciplined enough to stop calling her, delete are number from your phone, PC and cloud servers. If she ever calls, and you find yourself asking “who is this?, then she gets angry, explain to her that you only did that for the benefit of you both. ” I’m sorry” shows how strong you are; use it. Avoid seeing her as before. You can’t combat unrequited love if you keep checking her facebook profile and “last seen” update. Cut the link and save your heart.
Also read: When to start dating
Transfer the love to something or someone who makes you happy.
If you ever think you can compel a sadist to love you by hanging around, hoping, and disturbing the hell out of her brain, you lie! Anyone who takes pleasure in your displeasure is not worth your time. Never keep hoping that the many calls and SMS will make her love you. If she later gives in, it doesn’t mean she really means to be with you. Remember, premarital relationship should be a friendship with marriage in view… Anything other than this is not worth talking about. Sacrifice more time to do the things that make you happy, or earn you multiple credit alerts weekly.
Without taking your attention off her, there is no way you can ever stop the buzzing (unwanted) calls. It could be your occupation or avocation; which ever way, keep your mind totally engaged with other things. You can take a free course on web design, go on a luxury adventure with friends or simply take some weeks of vacation.
Give yourself time and rebuild your love life.
Make yourself the boss of your feelings, else you will ever remain sad. If you are not happy as a single, don’t ever think that being in a relationship will guarantee such happiness. Get involved in something productive that will occupy most of your time so you won’t fall back to old feelings. After you’re certain that you are off the trauma, you may start rebuilding your love life. This is the apex of the healing process. You can’t isolate someone you once loved and return to your lonely corner, then expect everything to be in check.
Though I advise that you keep it “slow and steady“, rebuild your love life by keeping in touch with people who value your worth. Never be in a haste to establish another relationship. Remain who you are and never treat your new partner with disdain just because of the previous bitter experience.
I had the bitter experience too in 2016. In my case, the idiot came back begging, but I showed him a share of the devil he created in me.
Hey Mary, you call him “idiot”? I do not know the extent he got involved to though, but my ex was an asshole.
She was given to shit always and showed no respect for me nor our relationship. When she left with her demon, it was a big relief – I moved on with my life and have been happy ever after!