The Trials of a Man at 27 – A must read for every Single

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Childhood Fantasies

This episode is universal, it is not about me or the things life has permitted that I experience. Growing up as a young boy is difficult for everybody. You have to deal with parents, relate with siblings and overcome peer pressure. I have been a recipient of this too. The worst trauma comes when your parents are rigidly principled; you won’t have the freedom to make friends or even invite them over for a weekend fiesta. I remember being so bent at having my way at my teenage prime; I would consciously break rules just to exert self-worth. Relating with siblings is often the wonder spice; it is common to see boys who intentionally sneak out just to skip washing dishes, but resurface once meal is ready – if your sister is “mummy” enough, you’ll certainly return to meet a perfect home.

No matter how troublesome these species are, if the society tries to understand them a bit, they will better be helped. A teenage boy already feels he does not need the help of anyone any longer. He is bossy, proud, senseless and adventurous. For every instruction that has “don’t”, he must try it out to have the “don’t” experience. He already feels he has grown into a man. The dilemma at this stage is too provocative. The proud doll at this stage already has cliques he feel will help him better than his family does; this is the thought of every boy. Since he has not gained so much experience yet, he feels should anything happen, he will park up and meet Benson at Ewet Housing Estate – The lessons for every boy at the end of this episode will reveal more about this. This is how senseless boys could be. Keeping late nights is part of it all. He does not stick to rules any longer and can sleep under the bridge just to be sure the rule is broken; certainly, strict parents would always lock them out. The instinct for adventure in this breed can take them to Lagos before 17 years, when parents are somewhere in Uyo Itam. He is loved by friends for being funny and starts attracting girls who shower “love” and money on him. If they are not helped at this stage, they will lose it all. They will inflict damages on themselves that will play back sooner or later. The teenage boy is not strong, he is senseless.

Iboro William
Iboro William during lock-down stretch

To the teenage boy, growing up with and always having peers around is his best moment; this is the experience we all have. But in early adulthood, we start feeling different. We start seeing people we think mean well for us and those we think are merely on seasonal companionship; this is where separation begins. As boys grow to the age of realization, so many things start changing; finances, career and relationships. Realization in finances doesn’t come easily.

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Money and Investments

A young adult who has been on the forefront of receiving has a different financial awareness; he doesn’t bother about savings or investment. I will deal on a more universal realization; the war-torn adults who have had rough rides as teenagers. They know the world and its people are bound by the first law of nature – self-preservation. These breeds are plagued with the need to multiply money. Nature has placed so much demands on them that they have only one option – provide. Whether they bleed or are torn, nature has nurtured other breeds to depend on him. He receives pressure from all angles. Just to maintain his place as a dignified man, his finances must be “man enough”. At this stage, a good number of them are done with the University and are hoping that employment luck will come their way. Majority have been made to forget what they can offer. Because of the pressure, they must get a paid job no matter what it takes. They can’t start a company because it takes time to grow.

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Also read: Formula 6: The recommended Extra Income Strategy you should know in 2020

He is now a transiting man. His teenage friends are now busy fending for themselves. This is the reality all boys will face. A time of conscious self-preservation comes. This is when you locate your fertile ground without assistance, prepare it and start planting. In order to survive, you must be both the gardener and the cop; after watering yourself, cut off every torn and spike that tries to inhibit your growth – this is the only formula. Self-preservation does not come through offences. I consciously stopped offending people when I came to this realization; if I ever discover I have broken this pledge, I live regretting for a very long time. The last restitution I made was to Ezekiel, a very good friend I met at the University which I still regret offending till date. You must not offend or be bitter with people you feel are not helping you; everyone one is busy fending for themselves and their families. This is how Mother Hen survives, learn from her.

To the growing man, his career and material growth pose another phase of trauma. He is consciously fighting against lack without unplugging the drainpipes planted by family and friends. He has been taught to be strong even when his strength fails. When he is battered and bruised by the spikes of “hustling”, he runs to Religion with the belief that he is “returning to God” for help. Because of bad orientation and ignorance, he is not aware of the many changes his strength can bring to the world. The green suit man wallows in lack and finds comfort in poverty. This awareness now brands him “Ambassador of the Meek”. He has no option than to stick to a N25,000 job with hard labour and disrespect. This is how poor men are birthed.

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Choosing a mate

But for love, the green suit man would have been managing his limitations, but he gets trapped again when his finances would have helped him accumulate N100,000 in a year. His background has taught him patience, and his experiences have forged him with resilience. Aunty Susu has come his way and the will of God must be done. Thank God he has self-control, so he won’t face the beast of double-dating. He has to make another important decision. This is where he is lost again. If he is not given to lack, he falls into the hand of an evil woman. Some are so unlucky to face both.

Also read: When to start start dating

Life’s weights and societal pressures torment a man as much as it does a woman. If it is not coping with forced parental influence or savings and investment, an iron monkey wife can enslave him in thoughts that may end up destroying him.

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